arsenal till i die

What the fuck were Arsenal playing at losing 2-1 to Hull the other day? If my sunday league team concedes goals at corners like that we get absolutely bollocked, told to run alot and shouted at...... and then we fucking practice.

Arsenal players do nothing but practice football, so how hard is it to learn to follow a 6 foot 5 centre half and beat him to the ball in the air? Its not as if you can't see the bloke.

Despite that we played well, but we gotta start outscoring these teams. Adebayor doesn't bring enough composure up front and he slows the game down, much like thierry henry did at the end of his career.

And we have to stop pretending that we're going to walk every game at home because these teams are fearless.....but still......fucking Hull?!

In Arsene We Trust

wants to drop kick a fucking computer

I realise the irony of moaning about technology on a computer whilst connected to the internet, using a modem, connected to a phone line. But it has to be done to make me feel better.

Me and my girlfriend Ms Perl rely on technology not fucking up on a daily basis. She was my human alarm clock for the last 2 weeks and the 1 day she doesn't wake me up.... guess what.... i'm late. I need to get a grip and sort myself out otherwise i'll be late all fucking week, but anyway, i'm getting side tracked.

We have these skype phones from 3 and they are free for us to call eachother whenever we want so great yea? What about when they fuck up? Yea i'll just use my other phone, you know the one i pay shitloads for every month, oh wait, that won't connect either, oh wait of course, i'll use facebook, no no buddy, facebook is closed down for maintainence for a few hours. So unless i develop some sort of ability to shout to Sweden, we are nackered for tonight.

And what pisses me off the most is that the phone's say everything is working fine, there's no problem, our beautiful technology is fine. Well fuck that, cos its not working for me.

And unbeknownst to me she's calling me while i'm reading about heart muscle cells having a fucking study party frenzy..(nearly falling asleep)..... bloody skype.

So sorry babe, but i'll call you tomorrow if it works.
Szeretlek xXx

You gotta go there to come back

I am in love with a girl who lives in Sweden. Thats a pretty general statement and doesn't tell you anything about her and me, but i don't think i could fully explain on here how i feel about her.

I just got back from visiting Nicole last night and it always sucks coming home alone and leaving her. I feel like someone has ripped my stomach out when i set my bag down in my room and realise she's not just getting a drink downstairs or having a shower or something.

We only see eachother every couple of weeks and everytime i see her i want to spend more time with her but we always have to go home. The going home part just hangs over our heads, or sits there like a massive fat ugly elephant in the room and we get a bit down. The minute you get used to sleeping next to eachother again or the other person's smell gets embedded into your bed sheets and clothes, then...... sorry darlin.... i gotta go........

But we are lucky despite this, we met in a way i guess you only here about in books or movies. We both went to a summer course in Hungary, i wasn't really supposed to go i mean i had no real reason, and Nicole nearly didn't go this yr. I mean a hundred yrs ago we probably never would have met, then even if we did meet there would be no skype or ryanair flights to keep in touch with eachother and you'd lose that person. And the feeling of losing that person, even when your just going home and going to see her in 2 weeks, it just stops you in your tracks. You don't want that feeling to become a reality. And it not going to, because we're making it work. Something alot of people, in much easier circumstances, do not bother to do. And it's working, we're working, and we're goin to Debrecen next year yea? .......so good job team.

I've met most of her friends now, and i'm glad i did, cos they are really really cool. They all made such an effort with me, and spoke English the whole time despite how drunk they were..(the can). I was nervous about meeting them but i guess you are nervous about meeting any new people, especially when you really want them to like ya. So it went well, and we got shifaced together and had a bloody good time.

Now i gotta do some work before i fall asleep.

xXx

PS darlin x

The unimportance of beng idle

Yea so after all that waiting in line ( i only say that cos i'm not sure how to spell queueing...queuing?...nem tudom, anyway..) so after all the waiting i was late for my train. I hate the train in the morning, everyone reads the free newspaper with the same shit in it about some celebrity having an ear transplant or something. Then there's far too many people on the train anyway so you get people brushing there arse along your shoulder.... or as i saw today some guy turned round as this other who was standing up moved backwards and brushed his arse on the guys cheek. You what the guy did who got arse in his face? Nothing, nincs, not a thing, he just sat there...... his eyes, however, told me he was screaming inside, something like: 'OH MY GOD!!!!!'

So my morning wasn't that bad i guess. But i was running late, and i was late to my first lecture of the year.... yea good job Mike. I had to do the walk of shame in front of my new professor... so i guess i'm labelled as the bad kid for a while now. Damn it, i tried to start well. I even tried to study when i was visiting my girlfriend..... but she is more gorgeous than my book on human physiology...... so she won.... well i won because she was actually tryin to study, well we both won.

But the lecture was alright in the end and we've done alot of the stuff already so i felt pretty good coming out of it. I'm going to try and learn Swedish now. Gonna have Swedish Tuesdays. And why would i be learning Swedish i hear you say?.......

XxXxX

University

So i started university again today. It didn't start too well, i broke my oystercard about a week and a half ago now so i had to buy a ticket from the machine. Problem was i got to the station at 8 o'clock and that is when every last idiot in town descends upon the train station. None of them have already bought tickets, and try buying tickets at the machines. None of them learn from this and buy the fucking thing beforehand no, they decide to do this when i'm in a rush, already late and need to buy a ticket.

Therefore this very English phenomenum occurs. A queue. My girlfriend says that it is correctly called a 'line.' But this was no line. There were people rushing on mass to the machines frantically trying to be the next person to use the machine. But at the same time as screaming at the next person to themselves in their head observing the normal 'queue' etiquette in which people say nothing to eachother except with their eyes. They try to will the person next to them to let them go first, but the minute one person takes the initiative they don't dare try and beat the person to the machine they just observe the queue rules and wait there turn, and keep screaming to themselves in their head about how they hate queueing..... then they fall back in line.... there ya go darlin.

So that was what i thought about from 08.00-08.05 this morning. I wouldn't have thought about it if i had my ipod........... god forbid i forget the fucking thing again.

A lesson in talking

So you're just plodding along in life, doing all the things you're supposed to do. You do your GCSE's, then your A-Levels, you get the odd pat on the back along the way. Then you get to that point where you decide what you're going to do for the rest of your life, i guess that would be choosing a university. Most of the people you've known since you were an ankle biter have no idea what the hell they want to do, what they want to be. But that's cool as you become used to people being like that, and as long as they're happy i guess it's fine. Whatever the weather. So they apply to do something to kill another 3 yrs rolling along, i guess to not stress themselves out a bit too much... poor dears.
But i knew that this would never make me happy. So i decided to apply to study to be a doctor. I got in, only because the uni i liked did an admissions test, the others were more interested in what school you went to and how much stuff you could put into your personal statement amoungst other things, stuff which i had trouble accumulating before i was 17, because lets be frank, up to 17 as a boy you aren't really thinking about much else except computer games, football, the kelly brook poster on your wall and doing the exact opposite of what your parents and teachers tell you to do. Then you become a man, quickly, and the decisions you make begin to matter, really matter. And each one of these has led me to where i am today, so thank whoever is watching over this world for helping make them, as i will explain in due course.

But I have a problem in that i like being the best at everything and i like surprising people at the same time. This gets me into trouble because, although i like being the best at everything from uni grades to playing the playstation, i like to give the impression that i'm not working too hard to get there. And this normally means that i don't work too hard to get there. Which normally means i don't achieve what i necessarily want and i guess that would be to be the best right? So i just get frustrated that i didn't do the best i could have but i admit to myself that i probably should have tried harder so it's ok. But i guess not very healthy.....but neither is smoking(well since before sept 1st) or beer or mcdonalds, but we do them because it is how we are.

My friend Dean once pointed this out to me and he said 'you don't take criticism very well Michael, even if it is constructive'. To which i responded with alot of bad bad words and tried to persuade him to think otherwise......... Therefore proving his point.
So i thought about this and the reason for it i guess is that i really care about things, issues of injustice, ignorance and more importantly other people, the people around me. But my problem is i don't put the effort in to read about these issues or to argue with the ignorant people, or to really think about what i am trying to say to the people i care about, so i end up not helping them too much. This makes me feel bad because i've wanted to be good at this, like most other stuff but once again fail to put the effort in to make the step up from just caring to doing something about it, actually living.

So me and my friend Dean decided to go to Hungary this summer. Well he said 'do you wanna come to Hungary this summer?' One time when we were drunk, and i thought *i could you know. yes i will* So i decided to go there. And this is where my life became important to the world, well it's where what i'm doing with my life became important to somebody else. But, there is no more time right now I gotta go and play football

So darlin i have to play football now but i'll write more later and i think you may be the only person who reads this thing. This writing thing feels good, so i'll do more when i get time.

I really want friday to come now, but it's only a couple of days right? Cup of tea? I hope Bobby's alright. X

Anyways, more later, then when i've got bored of me i'll right some stuff about Arsenal.

xXx