A lesson in talking

So you're just plodding along in life, doing all the things you're supposed to do. You do your GCSE's, then your A-Levels, you get the odd pat on the back along the way. Then you get to that point where you decide what you're going to do for the rest of your life, i guess that would be choosing a university. Most of the people you've known since you were an ankle biter have no idea what the hell they want to do, what they want to be. But that's cool as you become used to people being like that, and as long as they're happy i guess it's fine. Whatever the weather. So they apply to do something to kill another 3 yrs rolling along, i guess to not stress themselves out a bit too much... poor dears.
But i knew that this would never make me happy. So i decided to apply to study to be a doctor. I got in, only because the uni i liked did an admissions test, the others were more interested in what school you went to and how much stuff you could put into your personal statement amoungst other things, stuff which i had trouble accumulating before i was 17, because lets be frank, up to 17 as a boy you aren't really thinking about much else except computer games, football, the kelly brook poster on your wall and doing the exact opposite of what your parents and teachers tell you to do. Then you become a man, quickly, and the decisions you make begin to matter, really matter. And each one of these has led me to where i am today, so thank whoever is watching over this world for helping make them, as i will explain in due course.

But I have a problem in that i like being the best at everything and i like surprising people at the same time. This gets me into trouble because, although i like being the best at everything from uni grades to playing the playstation, i like to give the impression that i'm not working too hard to get there. And this normally means that i don't work too hard to get there. Which normally means i don't achieve what i necessarily want and i guess that would be to be the best right? So i just get frustrated that i didn't do the best i could have but i admit to myself that i probably should have tried harder so it's ok. But i guess not very healthy.....but neither is smoking(well since before sept 1st) or beer or mcdonalds, but we do them because it is how we are.

My friend Dean once pointed this out to me and he said 'you don't take criticism very well Michael, even if it is constructive'. To which i responded with alot of bad bad words and tried to persuade him to think otherwise......... Therefore proving his point.
So i thought about this and the reason for it i guess is that i really care about things, issues of injustice, ignorance and more importantly other people, the people around me. But my problem is i don't put the effort in to read about these issues or to argue with the ignorant people, or to really think about what i am trying to say to the people i care about, so i end up not helping them too much. This makes me feel bad because i've wanted to be good at this, like most other stuff but once again fail to put the effort in to make the step up from just caring to doing something about it, actually living.

So me and my friend Dean decided to go to Hungary this summer. Well he said 'do you wanna come to Hungary this summer?' One time when we were drunk, and i thought *i could you know. yes i will* So i decided to go there. And this is where my life became important to the world, well it's where what i'm doing with my life became important to somebody else. But, there is no more time right now I gotta go and play football

So darlin i have to play football now but i'll write more later and i think you may be the only person who reads this thing. This writing thing feels good, so i'll do more when i get time.

I really want friday to come now, but it's only a couple of days right? Cup of tea? I hope Bobby's alright. X

Anyways, more later, then when i've got bored of me i'll right some stuff about Arsenal.

xXx