You gotta go there to come back

I am in love with a girl who lives in Sweden. Thats a pretty general statement and doesn't tell you anything about her and me, but i don't think i could fully explain on here how i feel about her.

I just got back from visiting Nicole last night and it always sucks coming home alone and leaving her. I feel like someone has ripped my stomach out when i set my bag down in my room and realise she's not just getting a drink downstairs or having a shower or something.

We only see eachother every couple of weeks and everytime i see her i want to spend more time with her but we always have to go home. The going home part just hangs over our heads, or sits there like a massive fat ugly elephant in the room and we get a bit down. The minute you get used to sleeping next to eachother again or the other person's smell gets embedded into your bed sheets and clothes, then...... sorry darlin.... i gotta go........

But we are lucky despite this, we met in a way i guess you only here about in books or movies. We both went to a summer course in Hungary, i wasn't really supposed to go i mean i had no real reason, and Nicole nearly didn't go this yr. I mean a hundred yrs ago we probably never would have met, then even if we did meet there would be no skype or ryanair flights to keep in touch with eachother and you'd lose that person. And the feeling of losing that person, even when your just going home and going to see her in 2 weeks, it just stops you in your tracks. You don't want that feeling to become a reality. And it not going to, because we're making it work. Something alot of people, in much easier circumstances, do not bother to do. And it's working, we're working, and we're goin to Debrecen next year yea? .......so good job team.

I've met most of her friends now, and i'm glad i did, cos they are really really cool. They all made such an effort with me, and spoke English the whole time despite how drunk they were..(the can). I was nervous about meeting them but i guess you are nervous about meeting any new people, especially when you really want them to like ya. So it went well, and we got shifaced together and had a bloody good time.

Now i gotta do some work before i fall asleep.

xXx

PS darlin x