Everything in it's right place.

I think sometimes i need a kick in the face.

This morning i sulked. My girlfriend was pretending to sulk, so i took this as an opportunity to sulk too. I hate sulking(although i take my opportunities), because you never look at what you have, the fantastic love that you share with somebody, the university you are so lucky to go to, the fact that you have your legs........ the promises you have to look forward too......... You just look at all the bad stuff. Stuff that isn't really bad, it's just a circumstance, and something you can't change, but something that will change with time.

As a man you like to be able to do what you want, now, fuck time and it's constraints. And if you can't, you have to adapt.... and, as my brother will tell you, as a species we fucking hate change. I've had alot of change over the past few months, but if i could only explain how amazing i feel as a result of it, i'd probably get a book published.

So as a result of my sulking, which didn't really need to happen, i made my girlfriend panic.
I don't mean to make you feel like that babe, and i was in the shower, and my mum ran in wielding the phone, so i paniced. And any panicing that occurs is worse cos it's over the phone, as I can't be won over by puppy dog eyes, or nibble an ear lobe, no, we're just left with silence.

Then i let my jealous side get the better of me, which i also hate. I can't change it cos I like protecting her, I have to protect her as she doesn't realise how gorgeous she is, and most guys do. I can't protect her most of the time as there's a fucking country and ocean in the way so i channel that protecting against the easiest target, a lovely bloke who looks out for her and who i get on with rather well. Good job Mike, clever man. So therefore I am an idiot and i do need a kick in the face.

I think we both get frustrated with the situation we are in. But it could be a hell of alot worse. Imagine if you had started university already, what if there was no skype, no ryanair. Dean talks about these companies like they are scum, but they don't half help.

So, älskling, get your tests done, nail them. I am doing fine here with my uni work, it is bloody boring, but i gotta do it. There's a future out there and the future needs you and me to get good grades. February will come quickly enough. And you'll be over here after your exams to see Alex as well!
There'll come a day where we'll want time to stand still, fucking time. But it won't, nor will it speed up, so lets just sit together, and wait it out with eachother. Doin a good job darlin.

Gonna get my haircut now, get some food and do some more work. I wonder if anybody else actually reads this?

P.s.