loneliness of the long distance runner

I don't see anybody anymore, I've started back at university for my 3rd yr and all of my mates are doing different courses this yr. There's a few people i know on my course but i don't really hang out with them or just go and get a coffee with them... (not that i drink coffee but i can't say i'm going for a cup of tea). So i end up studying on my own for hours every day.

Last year we'd all come out of lectures at the same time and go down to the bar and have lunch or go to the coffee place and i wouldn't drink coffee, but the point was they were always around.

And the thing is with me is i liked hanging with different people, not just the main people in my group, cos i like talking to loads of different people. But it was nice havin the same people to go back to and sit with and moan with and laugh with.

I only see them once a week now, i guess it's a problem that i live at home instead of in a flat up london but there's not much i can do about it. I think that last yr i didn't mind sleeping on people's floors because we were always going out alot, i was drinking alot and it doesn't really bother you if you're sleeping on a floor or a sofa or the hallway if you're passed out smashed.

And to be honest my friends seem to be fighting alot now, well the ones i used to stay with most of the time are anyway, the other person i used to stay with i don't want to stay with anymore and my other mate is just busy all the time as he's now doing clinics.

So i can't really hang around at uni as much but maybe it'll change as the year goes on. And maybe next year i'll be living with the people i really care about, but that's a long way away yet. I guess things change alot as you grow up, first after school, then college, then your mates from home change when you're at uni then you're uni mates change and then eventually you pray to god that you don't end up alone......... well if you're being a bit dramatic about it.

But things do change, circumstances change, people change, your tastebuds change and your eye colour changes xXx, but you get lucky amoungst all the shit that's goin on. And you don't end up alone if you're man enough to keep what matters to you, and not panic and not put up with people who make you feel bad.

And now some dickhead is telling me to get out of the public computer room. So in typical english fashion, i will live through kicking his arse in my head and in reality, go and get a coke.

Jo napot!